Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a
simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty
moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with Today
and end with FML.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. She said her best friend was going through some tough times, and she needed to be there for her. I later found out she was talking about her dog. FML
Today, I thought I would spice up me and my boyfriend's relationship. I decided to strip down and get into one of his big t-shirts. I walked out into the living room where he was watching tv, took off the shirt and started walking towards him. His eyes got huge. My mom was right behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something kinky in bed and produced a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. After I was inescapably secured to his bed he asked, "So, are you ticklish?" Apparently peeing myself was the only way to convince him to stop torturing me. FML
Today, while watching a movie, I said to my new girlfriend it's bullshit how girls get away with false advertising by stuffing their bras, but the second a guy stuffs his pants it's game over. She seemed upset and went to the bathroom, finally coming out at least 2 cup sizes smaller. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend after a rather steamy session. He kept softly whispering, "That was amazing, that was amazing..." I kissed him and agreed. Apparently he was talking about the fact that he'd managed to throw the used condom into the bin using his left hand. FML
Today, I thought I would spice up me and my boyfriend's relationship. I decided to strip down and get into one of his big t-shirts. I walked out into the living room where he was watching tv, took off the shirt and started walking towards him. His eyes got huge. My mom was right behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something kinky in bed and produced a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. After I was inescapably secured to his bed he asked, "So, are you ticklish?" Apparently peeing myself was the only way to convince him to stop torturing me. FML
Today, while watching a movie, I said to my new girlfriend it's bullshit how girls get away with false advertising by stuffing their bras, but the second a guy stuffs his pants it's game over. She seemed upset and went to the bathroom, finally coming out at least 2 cup sizes smaller. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend after a rather steamy session. He kept softly whispering, "That was amazing, that was amazing..." I kissed him and agreed. Apparently he was talking about the fact that he'd managed to throw the used condom into the bin using his left hand. FML
Happy Friday!
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