FML Friday!

Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with Today and end with FML.

Today, after working an 8 hour shift that kept me out until 2am, I slept for five hours, during which time I dreamed about working. When I woke up, I left to work another 9 hour shift. FML

Today, I bought the most gorgeous dress for prom. While at my boyfriend's later, I came across last year's prom picture of him and his ex. She was wearing the same dress. FML

Today, my dog came in my room, snuggled up next to me, and starting licking my face. I thought it was quite affectionate. However, everyone failed to tell me that my dog had been outside eating rabbit shit until after she licked my face and mouth. FML

Today, I popped a pimple before I went to work. On my lunch, I found a new pimple just under the previous one. I'm playing whac-a-mole with my face. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

Happy Friday!