FML Friday!

Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with Today and end with FML.

Today, I caught my boyfriend blowing his nose on my blanket. After yelling at him and refusing to use the blanket to sleep with, he tells me I might as well sleep with the blanket because this isn't the first time he's blown his nose on it. I have been wrapping myself in a snot blanket for months. FML

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. I woke up at midnight, made a video, wrote him a letter, and even drove 45 minutes just to wish him a happy birthday. His response was, "Thanks, but why should you care?" FML

Today, I woke up finding myself laying in my own pee, naked, in my bathtub. All because I have a sleep walking problem. FML

Today, after an intense gym workout, I return to the locker room and placed my cell phone on the bench. When I looked down, it was gone. I realized that a naked old guy was sitting on it. The worst part is that I can't wash the "scent" off my phone without damaging it. FML

Today, at a grocery store, I saw an elderly woman in a wheelchair trying to push her shopping cart. It looked very difficult and I wasn't in a hurry so I offered to push the cart for her. To which she said, "I can push my own cart and you can just f*** off." FML

Happy Friday!