Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with Today and end with FML.
Today, I took away my five-year-old daughter's barbie dolls for back-talking. Later, I notice my car keys aren't In my purse. After twenty minutes of looking, I hear the upstairs toilet flush. My daughter comes downstairs, I ask her what she did, and she said "I punished you too, mommy." FML
Today, I took away my five-year-old daughter's barbie dolls for back-talking. Later, I notice my car keys aren't In my purse. After twenty minutes of looking, I hear the upstairs toilet flush. My daughter comes downstairs, I ask her what she did, and she said "I punished you too, mommy." FML
Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML
Today, my new neighbors moved in. When I went over to welcome them, I discovered that they were my parents. They made a cross-country trip so they could move in next-door to "make sure I wasn't making bad decisions with my life". I'm 27 and married. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidently slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML
Happy Friday!
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