Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with Today and end with FML.
Today, I got a salad for a nice snack. I was about halfway through when I tasted something bad in my mouth, thinking it was just some bad lettuce I spit it out. Turns out it was a bug. One of the legs got stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. She's pressing charges. FML
Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML
Today, I found out that my boss doesn't know my name. He's been calling me David. I'm a girl. FML
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
Happy Friday!
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