Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with Today and end with FML.
Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight, if that's not bad enough, he decided to shit onto my carpet to "show me how much" I'm "worth." FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. What did I do to deserve this? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I was fired from work for faking sick to go to a concert. I asked the boss how he figured out, and he said, "On the 10 o'clock news, I saw you drunk at the bar talking about the show." I was wearing a chicken suit, and was completely hammered. FML
Today, my cat left a huge pile of crap on the kitchen floor. As I was cleaning it up, the smell was so bad that it overwhelmed me and I vomited all over the floor. Not only did I have to clean up the cat crap but also my own vomit. FML
Happy Friday!
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